Tragic tale without words...

Did you know? The part about the Italian Consulate putting a hold on my study visa three days before I leave because of new regulations imposed by the Italian government. TRUE! The part about me going anyway. MAYBE! The part about me getting caught. NEVER!

No, really, the person I talked to at Florence University of the Arts told me that about 5% of international students enrolled at the school don't have study visas, and 100% of those 5% progress through the semester just fine. The school doesn't care, and the government doesn't either. I wouldn't get caught, but it's still illegal.

It's an ethics/integrity question now.

***

Watch Sam play the Irish flute with his nose, which is just awesome.

+http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5300322677638907693

I finally replaced my digital camera, having used my first as a deadly projectile to slay attacking wild dogs while backpacking deep within the Ozarks over Christmas break, thus saving my travel companions from certain death. Yeah, my camera was in pretty bad shape at the end of the day. But in hindsight I think it might have had more to do with me leaving it on top of the car before driving home.

Of course, I'm no stranger to the art of wasting money. Read on.

Recent mistakes detrimental to my financial status:
* Offending the state of Texas by traveling "fast" on multiple occasions: $300
* Tow King Inc showing me where I'm not allowed to park: $150
* I'm a freaking idiot: $25 (note: see below for the definition of irony)
* Baylor tuition: $50,000,000,000 (note: rough estimate only)
* Vanilla Coke meets laptop keyboard: $200

The definition of irony: Surviving the first three semesters of college without purchasing an astronomically priced student parking permit by feigning "visitor" status while on campus. Feeling guilty about cheating the system. Paying for parking sticker. Parking in a visitor slot for 30 minutes "only this one time," and, of course, being ticketed.

Beginning to see a common theme? Viscious wolves in the backcountry, Baylor DPS, Tow King, and then Vanilla Coke. It's all coming together. If you don't see the connection you're just plain stupid.



Yeah. That, and while I was running a Google image search for the above picture, I met Steve. His unrelenting vision of success and self-fulfillment has been nothing less than an inspiration to me for the past thirty minutes. You should meet him too.



Steve lives life on the edge. For the past TWENTY-THREE DAYS, Steve has consumed AT LEAST one Super Big Gulp of Vanilla Coke from Seven Eleven. The guy knows what he wants and he makes it freaking happen. I'm not even being sarcastic. Steve is awesome. Drinking vanilla coke makes anybody awesome.

I also envy Steve, because not only does Waco not have a 7/11, Waco HEBs are NEVER EVER stocked with Vanilla Coke. I have to buy the stuff in Houston on the weekends I visit home. And I always forget to bring it back up. Which is where homemade vanilla coke comes in, an exhaustive list of ingredients for which has been reproduced below.

(1) Coke
(2) Vanilla

It...suffices. Credit goes to Matt Berry for the recipe. Matt Berry is awesome, just like Steve.

Speaking of Steve, I'm going to start wrapping this post up. Can you say "stream of consciousness?" And if you by any chance have trouble pronouncing "consciousness," just say "Daniel is not accustomed to the vast amounts of time he has now and doesn't know what to do with himself." That'll do.

+http://www.coloradoguy.com/

The Green Revolution

Greens, as we all know, are detrimental to the human condition. They have been known to cause cancer, eye cateracts, the plague, and in some cases a complex clinical condition known as acromegaly, the only cure for which is the guillotine. It is frightening, and also slightly ironic, to think that when, as children, we spoke of the terrible dangers inherent in the eating of such poisons, we were not very far from the truth. Not very far, indeed.

Experts have suggested that the human race turn to another diet, one previously thought to be unhealthy. Some refer to the contents of this alternative diet as "greens," but I believe the stakes are such that confusion between the two food groups should be avoided like the plague, because another plague is what we will get if we continue on our current path to destruction. This food group shall be called "candy" and will be the salvation of the human race. "Candy" includes, but is not limited to the following items.

fruit snacks
jolly ranchers
jelly beans
fruit rollups
green sprinkles
and so on



Finally, credit goes where credit is due. The visionary who has changed the way the world regards the world of vegetables - and his profound writings - can be found at the following web address. Go there. You will find nothing but the truth. And the truth will set you free.

+http://danielogletree.blogspot.com

[Disclaimer: It's almost 4am. I'm about to get off work. Work sucks. Sleep is awesome. The combination of work, which sucks, and no sleep, which is not awesome, can be very disastrous, as seen above. Disregard, please]

Drama this week...

Act I: The Masterpiece

For your exclusive viewing pleasure I've meticulously recreated via photoshop my latest masterpiece in Chunie Arnold's Intro to Drawing class.

It's a highly detailed rendering of a massive knot of sheets. Not that I would ever have needed to inform you...



Constructive criticisms received:

Prof. Chunie (recently emigrated from the far, far east):
* "Daniel, today not your shining moment!"
* "This lost cause! Now have fun make modern art!"
* (implicit) "You make D! D for Daniel! D for decrepid!"

Dan (the established artist in the class):
* "No, Daniel, it looks good! It's......ahhhhh......artsy!"

Meagan (the established blonde californian in the class):
* "It looks like a face."

Act II: The Storm

It rained Friday night, and two horses on the Baylor equestrian team died. I also got wet.

How wet, you ask?



I know, I'm an artist - but we've already established that.

Now, a moment of silence for the horses:

...

And a moment of silence for me getting wet, my cell phone screen getting warped, and water coming in through the apartment window, thus reducing the resale and usability value of my latin textbook by 100%:

...

Moving on...

Act III: Finals

I have lots of them.

THE END

...

Constructive ciriticisms received:

Me, just now, to myself, which is not wierd in any way:
* "That third act was lame, dude. It was a real letdown."
* "Horses are people too!"
* "What. A waste. Of time."

...

Finally. I'm buying a camera this week.

[Note: I don't mean to make fun of Dr. (yes, Dr.) Chunie. She's sweet. Very direct, but sweet.]