Classy and eloquent as always

"Now why would you do that? Why would you DO that? Why would you DO that? WHY would you DO that? ... You're a jerk! You're a jerk!"

This is pretty much how I feel as I sit here at work turning 22

WASHINGTON, DC—After running a thousand errands, working hours of overtime, and being stuck in seemingly endless gridlock traffic commuting to and from their jobs, millions of Americans were disheartened to learn that it was, in fact, only Tuesday.

"Tuesday?" San Diego resident Doris Wagner said. "How in the hell is it still Tuesday?"

...

"Not only do Americans have most of Tuesday morning to contend with, but all of Tuesday afternoon and then Tuesday night," National Labor Relations Board spokesman David Prynn said. "If our calculations are correct, there is a chance we are in effect closer to last weekend than the one coming up."

Added Prynn: "F---."

Read the rest of the article here.

Yes, the transformer at the end has a banjo

The sin of wit

You can't try to be witty. It's really not possible. I've tried in the past (just scroll down a bit and you'll see some great examples of contrived wit). I mean those endless late-nite shifts at the library when you're oh so desperately trying to stay awake and bending over backwards to make obscure mental connections is all you can do to keep from passing out, well...you do what you have to.

But you can't force wit. You have to (a) stumble blindly into it or (b) pretty much sport the mental acuity of Jonathan Swift. And no, I don't sport the mental acuity of Jonathan Swift. So I'm taking off the glasses because I can't really see anything anyway.

Onward.

Audire:

Almost as cool as Animorphs: